Habits

31
Dec
2020
Never ever eat from the community fish bucket again!

Never ever eat from the community fish bucket again!

Live your life without safety nets, set bigger goals, and overcome limiting beliefs

On a recent trip to the Caribbean with my family, I spent a lot of time beaching it, as one would when they have two young kids. The other thing I spent a great deal of time doing was reflecting on the year. What went well? What didn’t go well? What did I learn? How will I show up next year? These were all questions I pondered as I listened to the waves crash and watched the kids play.

One of my favorite sights quickly became watching the local birds of prey fishing. I am not a bird watcher, by trade, and I owed it to you to identify my favorite as the Brown Booby (not that we should hold its name against it). As I watched the booby, sometimes solo, sometimes in pairs, and at greatest in groups of four take to the beach, what quickly became apparent was that they had a strong work ethic.

The brown booby has no limiting beliefs to overcome. He fishes relentlessly to catch his meal.

These majestic sea birds would swoop down low, their bellies barely off of the surface of the water, and hunt for their meal. They would pulse their wings just enough to keep themselves mere inches from the water and respond quickly as the water would rise. They systematically passed back and forth over the water until they spotted the shimmer of a fish below at which point they would abort their thirty or so miles per hour flight in exchange for an abrupt dive into the water to catch a fish.

More often than not, the booby would emerge empty-beaked and would quickly resume flight in search of the next shimmer. I watched these birds perform tirelessly for hours as they hunted for fish. What occurred to me after some time was that I was not merely seeing work ethic. I was seeing survival instinct.

No free meal

These birds knew that their survival hinged on them finding their next meal. Their young relied on them to return to the nest with enough fish to feed them. If these birds gave up, they died. Where in our lives does this show up? Would you agree that your job is mandatory for your survival? Why then is it so easy for us to fall into the trap of not working and avoiding the tasks which lead to our success?

One night on our trip, we stopped at a seaside restaurant for dinner. As we ate, I noticed a congregation of small birds, resembling sparrows. In the spirit of this post, I attempted to identify these birds, however when I searched the internet for “sparrow Caribbean,” I was returned Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. I cannot confirm with any degree of certainty that this particular species had any relation to Captain Sparrow.

These smaller birds were incredibly comfortable with people and it was apparent they’d eaten at this dining establishment before. They came right up to my feet and even hopped on the table next to ours looking for a chunk of bread to be tossed in their direction. These birds patiently awaited and I never did oblige. They clearly knew that they did not need me to survive and that it was only a matter of time before someone else did toss them some food or leave extra fries on their plate.

The stories of these two birds of paradise taught me a great lesson. When survival is at stake, it seems we’ll do anything it takes to keep ourselves and our young alive. The trouble comes when we know there is a safety net in place. If the brown booby knew that if it didn’t catch a fish one day it could just go to a community bucket of fish and grab one to take home, it would quickly learn to take the path of least resistance and start its day at the bucket.

The path of least resistance

Humans and birds alike, we are all susceptible to taking the easy path. Often this comes at the cost of our dreams and our goals. Why do we accept mediocrity when we have the potential to be great? Why can’t we approach life like the brown booby and see our mission through to completion? Is it that we know that when we fall someone will be there to pick us back up?

Especially in developed nations, such as the United States, we don’t have many people dying in the streets of hunger. Does this mean that they all go out and catch their fish every day? Often, no. Remember, like all other creatures, we are always looking for the path of least resistance. When we know we can grab a fish out of the community bucket versus working tirelessly to catch one, we will opt for the easier route.

The community fish bucket isn’t going anywhere. We must set goals so big that the thought of community fish seems like death and the taste repulses us. How do we train our minds to think so big? How do we overcome the limiting beliefs which allow us to continue accepting mediocrity?

Someday starts today!

Start with the end in mind. The greatest, the smartest, the strongest, and the wealthiest don’t have superior genetics to yours. They are not super-human and even if they did have a leg up from their parents, their parents had to create their wealth somehow. We all have the opportunity to be our greatest selves. It begins with your allowing yourself to dream bigger.

The first time I had my limiting beliefs challenged, I was going into business for myself and I was asked how much money I wanted to earn. My response was “$100k.” For me, it was more than I had ever made before and would certainly cover my survival. It also meant that I would be accepting of $90k, the last amount I’d made… $80k, which I had survived on comfortably as well. The point being, I also likely would have been accepting of a community fish. Once I was challenged to expand my thinking, I looked at where I wanted to be, someday, and the legacy I wanted to create. What I learned was that my first goal was selfish and my second was more selfless.

Overcome limiting beliefs

When you overcome limiting beliefs, you realize that you can hustle hard, build wealth, and still remain humble and focused on being your best self.

In our society, there is often some amount of shame in wanting to build wealth and the wealthy are often vilified. I remember, in my own youth, uttering the words that I wanted to make “enough to pay the bills and be comfortable.” I was afraid that if I stated I wanted to be a millionaire that I would be shamed. As it turns out, this couldn’t have been further from the truth. My “noble” limiting beliefs were completely selfish and were entirely about me.

If we believe this rhetoric, we will limit our own beliefs, put a governor on ourselves, and even start believing the dangerous narrative that the evil wealthy elites should be filling the community fish bucket for us. Don’t be fooled, this only perpetuates the reliance on the community bucket and is hypocritical.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change

As you challenge yourself to dream bigger, think beyond the dollars alone. What would you accomplish as your greatest self? What impact would you have on the world? Sir Richard Branson, one of the wealthiest people in the world is a shining example of those using his success to make an impact on the world. Branson has amassed great wealth and has also made it a mission of his to save the ocean from human impact.

Oprah Winfrey’s personal mission statement is “to be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.” She has used her wealth to build schools and to create opportunities for underprivileged children.

A new year. A new you?

As we enter a new year, what will change? As much as many of us would like to wish away the old year with the turning of the clocks to midnight, it is up to us and us alone to create our own destiny. Someday starts today. Build a future vision and reverse engineer your goals to the things you must do today. Determine who you must be and the habits you must build to achieve the success you’ve always wanted. Identify the limiting beliefs you must overcome. Most important, never eat community fish again!

Top resources to start your year right!

Posted by Adam Lendi in Business Planning, Coaching, Goal Setting, Habits, Life, 0 comments
02
Oct
2020
How do you create more time in a single day?

How do you create more time in a single day?

I had a moment on Tuesday afternoon. I had just finished an all-day training event focused on developing part of my career. During the training, the hosts asked us before each break to “take the break,” implying that we should relax, decompress, and meditate over what we’d just taken in. I did not take breaks. Instead, I spent my breaks returning missed calls, replying to a seemingly long list of text messages, catching up on emails, and just barely squeezing in a bathroom break before it was time to return.

My moment came not at the end of my training, but rather after I spent another hour catching up on work before zooming across town for an evening appointment. I’d just wrapped up with a client and then I took a call with bad news about another client of mine. By the time I got off the phone, I felt physically exhausted, mentally tapped, and emotionally drained. I then called my wife only to hear that she was at our son’s soccer practice and that they were just finishing. I’m not going to lie, I was devastated. How had I, the guy who is always preaching about values, habits, and time blocking, worked a twelve hour day, missed an important family event, and betrayed my own values?

On Wednesday morning, I grabbed my go-to reference book for moments like these… The ONE Thing, by Gary Keller and Jay Papasan. Right inside the cover you are met with two sets of animal tracks leading across the page and then diverging on the next, with the words

“If you chase two rabbits… you will not catch either one.”

-Russian Proverb

I realized that I had been doing just that. I already had two businesses running and had recently made the decision to explore another venture, all the while growing and developing myself in one of my core businesses. Can you relate? Have you found yourself pursuing more than one thing and not gaining traction on any of them? If so, read on!

Part 1 of The ONE Thing is “The Lies – They mislead and derail us.” As I went down the list, a list I’d read many times before, I realized I had disregarded several of them. They are:

  1. Everything matters equally – Equality is a lie. When you have a lot to get done in a day, how do you know what to do first? Achievers work from a clear sense of priority. Employ the focusing question (see below) to help guide your decision.
  2. Multitasking – There is no such thing! What we do is multi-switch. The trouble with multi-switching is that it takes time, after switching, to orient to the new task and time again to orient back to the prior task. It is best practice to focus on when task (starting with your ONE Thing) and see it through to completion before starting the next task.
  3. A disciplined life – Success is about doing the right thing… Not doing everything right. Focusing on the right thing and building habits around that will lead to your greatest self.
  4. Willpower is always on will-call – Think of your energy in each day like the battery on your cell phone. When you wake up in the morning, you are at 100%. As you perform tasks and make decisions throughout the day you chip away at that energy. It’s important to capitalize on your most important tasks, because not everything matters equally, when you are fresh.
  5. A balanced life – There is no such thing as balance in life. At our very best, just like an acrobat on a tight rope, we counter our balance with short side-to-side movements. Sometimes we have to swing toward work and put in extra effort, however it must immediately be followed with a counter into your personal life or you will fall.
  6. Big is bad – The only actions which become springboards to success are those which come from big thinking. Think Big – Act Big – Succeed Big

Can you guess which of the lies I was living? As I wrote in my journal that morning, I reflected on my core values, which are: Health, Family, and Empowerment. I took out my planner and reviewed the rest of my week, my to-do list, and my success list. I cleared time, by time-blocking and prioritizing those things which aligned with my values, first, revised my success list, and found time to spend the next two nights together with my wife.

Even practice leaders need a reality check and a reset every once in a while. If you’re stuck and you find yourself looking at your calendar and to-do list, take a minute to reflect on your own values, your goals, your BIG WHY, and ask yourself the focusing question:

What’s the ONE Thing I can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?

If you need to go further back, join me on Tuesday for my Your Big Why webinar. Get clarity on your own core values and use them, alongside your goals, to gain clarity on what matters most.

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Posted by Adam Lendi in Events, Goal Setting, Habits, Life, Time Blocking, Values, 0 comments
24
Sep
2020
This one secret is why successful people grow faster

This one secret is why successful people grow faster

It’s in our culture and it’s everywhere we look. We are programmed to idolize and hold up successful business owners, world-class athletes, and amazing minds. What is it that sets us apart from these public figures, idols, and celebrities? Birth-right only gets you so far. How does one go from average to extraordinary? I know what it is and it’s simpler than you think.

The most successful people in their craft practice their specialization with a dedication you and I have trouble maintaining. They aren’t experts of everything; they are masters of their one thing. What’s the difference between you and legendary guitarist Eric Clapton? His fingers aren’t anything extraordinary. He didn’t come from a lineage of advanced music genetics. It’s not money and not even the tools he was given when he first learned to play. Eric grew up in an otherwise average military family and was given a cheap guitar as a gift at 13 as a gift. Once he took interest in it, he practiced his craft non-stop and was an advanced player by age 16.

The difference between talented and successful people and those who are average are the habits they build around their one thing.

Notice I said “one thing.” He who attempts to master everything, masters nothing. Perhaps you know someone who dabbles in lots of things and who is a Jack of all trades. While they may be able to fill lots of roles in your life or your business, they generally aren’t the best or the top pick for any one of those roles. Remember when working with a Jack of all trades that he comes second to the Queen and the King.

Identifying your one thing isn’t always simple. In the business world, you’re in a phase we call entrepreneurial. This is where you are figuring out what it is you do best, what stokes your passion, and what it is you do which fills a need for others. This is a normal phase in leadership development and we all must go through it if we are to identify our one thing. We don’t want to get stuck in the entrepreneurial phase for too long though. The goals is to move to a more purposeful execution on your top strengths and the highest and best use of your time and abilities. We call this the journey of moving from E to P.

Entrepreneurs tend to get stuck beneath their ceiling of achievement. They do what comes naturally to them and sometimes they do quite well… for a long time. Those who are most driven tend to go through cycles where they make changes and pivot their strategy, attempting to grown, only to hit their ceiling and fall back to what they are most comfortable with.

To break through your ceiling of achievement it takes intentional goal-setting and purposeful planning to develop a breakthrough strategy. Even then, the battle is not yet won. It takes high level of daily accountability to break away from what is familiar and do the uncomfortable activities we know we must do to break through to the next level, beyond our ceiling of achievement.

Whether you are learning to play guitar, baking pizza, or running a direct to consumer sales business, you must practice your craft in order to perfect it. When you create a rhythm, you can master whatever your one thing is. That rhythm being regular and habitual execution.

Where most habit building goes wrong is in scale alone. If you are striving to learn guitar and you task yourself with one hour of practice each day, you are bound to find yourself exhausted, frustrated, or a combination of the two, before that hour is up. If you fail to meet your hour of practice goal, day after day, eventually you will feel bad about your performance, quit, and resolve that you are not the kind of person who plays guitar.

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear describes the Two Minute Rule. Simply put, the act of executing your habit must take two minutes or less. In the guitar playing example, this could simply be setting the goal to two minutes of guitar playing, per day. Two minutes is far more sustainable than sixty and you’re bound to start going over two minutes as your skill-set improves.

In the case of more complex habits, where two minutes of execution alone may not be enough to get started, find a precursory task which takes two minutes or less, which will make execution inevitable, and build a habit around that. What does this mean?

If your goal is to attain peak physical fitness by exercising daily and your track record leading up to now shows you have not gone to the gym at all in over a year, it may be difficult to begin a daily hour long workout habit. Go smaller. It may not be enough to say you workout for two minutes even. Go smaller still. The habit could be as simple as packing your gym clothes before you go to bed and putting them in your car. This daily habit may be all the trigger you need to make it to the gym each day. If you can record a “W” each day, you’re more likely to uphold the habit. When building a new habit we must standardize before we optimize.

Don’t lose focus. Constantly benchmark your successes, re-analyze your goals, and correct course as needed. As I title my last post, You’re one habit away from your next breakthrough. What is that next habit which will put you at the top of your game?

Want to take it to the next level? Start a 66 Day Challenge. If you don’t know what that is, email me at adam@mymapscoach.com and tell me about the habit you are building. I will bring you up to speed and join you in a 66 Day Challenge in my private accountability group. Get your habit tracker below and get started today.

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Posted by Adam Lendi in Goal Setting, Habits, Life, Tools, 0 comments
17
Sep
2020
You’re one habit away from your next breakthrough

You’re one habit away from your next breakthrough

What stands between where you are now and where you want to be? The answer may be more simple than you think.

Your outcomes are a lagging indicator of the habits you keep. Each time you repeat a behavior, you reinforce the habit that reflexively caused that behavior in the first place. If the behavior is positive and serves to improve your life, automating that behavior will be beneficial. On the contrary, if you repeat a behavior that does not serve you, you will move further from your goals.

Through myelination, the process in which your brain wraps nerve connections with a performance enhancing sheath called myelin, your brain builds super highways to speed up and automate the tasks you perform repeatedly. The trouble is that myelin does not discriminate between good and bad habits. Just as putting your running shoes on first thing out of bed in the morning reinforces positive health habits, grabbing a bag of potato chips and turning on the television as soon as you get home from work can become a reinforced and automated task.

The habit execution process is comprised of four steps. They are:

  • Cue
  • Craving
  • Response
  • Reward

When you climb out of bed in the morning and see your running shoes (cue), you are reminded that your morning run, once executed enough will give you the health you desire (craving). Thinking about the beach body you’ll have on your upcoming trip will trigger you to take that run (response), even though you’re tired, because you feel great and have already fit better into those pants which were getting snug (reward).

I’ll spare you the process for the downward spiral that would follow a daily crumb covered shirt and binge watching old sitcoms habit. For the habits we wish to make permanent and prevalent, we must make the process easy and remove obstacles. If we wish to de-program a bad habit, we most add obstacles to that habit process.

To reinforce a positive habit

  • Cue: Make it obvious
  • Craving: Make it attractive
  • Response: Make it easy
  • Reward: Make it satisfying

To break a negative habit

  • Cue: Make it invisible
  • Craving: Make it unattractive
  • Response: Make it difficult
  • Reward: Make it unsatisfying

Building a new habit

Start small. If your track-record says you don’t work out for an hour a day, five times each week, you may find it challenging to commit to this drastic of a behavior change right away. If you miss your goal and only make it to the gym twice each week and tire out after thirty minutes, you’re making it easy to give up and throw in the towel. Meanwhile, if you hadn’t been going in to the gym at all before, you just went an hour each week and four hours per month which you otherwise wouldn’t have.

What is the smallest action, which would contribute to improvements in your habit formation and progress toward your goal? Perhaps the goal is simply to take your gym clothes with you to the office and to be wearing them by 4:00pm each day. Then, even if you don’t make it to the gym, you’ll have an easy to attain win.

Make the habit you are looking to build unavoidable and you will make it inevitable. If your goal is to eat healthier and your fresh fruits are stashed away in the refrigerator or in your pantry, you’ve hidden the cue, making it invisible. Put the fruit in a bowl and display it on your counter so that when you are hungry for a snack, you won’t venture far into the kitchen before it becomes obvious and more convenient than the pint of ice cream in the freezer.

Breaking an old habit

If the first step in eating healthier was to make the good food more obvious, the next ought to be to make the junk foods invisible. If you have a candy dish out on your living room table and you are under the age of eighty or don’t have grand-children, remove it! The same elements are in play and your myelin won’t care if you are reaching for a juicy apple or a Werther’s Original (seriously, why do you have a candy dish?).

Once the cue is invisible, your neural pathways will still tell you to seek out rock candy you’ve always eaten, each time you’re hungry. We need to break the next step in the process and make the craving unattractive. Call out the negative effects these decisions will have on your goals, in this case your health. Simply saying aloud to yourself “if I eat this candy I will get cavities, gain weight, and look less desirable in my speedo” will hopefully reduce the craving and make eating candy seem unattractive. Now, as you make your way to the pantry with the step stool you had to retrieve, to make your access to the sweets you seek more challenging you’ve already made it a challenge to enact the response. If after all of this you’ve still reached the candy dish, it will hopefully seem so repulsive that your next action will be to dump the whole thing into the garbage.

Take action today!

Do a habit audit and make a habit scorecard. Lay out a day in your life on paper. It should look something like this:

  • Wake up
  • Check phone
  • Brush teeth
  • Eat breakfast
  • Shower
  • Drive to work
  • Check email
  • Lead generate
  • Check social media
  • Eat lunch
  • Go to the gym
  • Work projects
  • Drive home
  • Eat dinner
  • Watch television
  • Brush teeth
  • Go to bed
  • = Wake up
  • – Check phone
  • + Brush teeth
  • = Eat breakfast
  • = Shower
  • = Drive to work
  • – Check email
  • + Lead generate
  • – Check social media
  • = Eat lunch
  • + Go to the gym
  • = Work projects
  • = Drive home
  • = Eat dinner
  • – Watch television
  • + Brush teeth
  • = Go to bed

Now, simply rate the habits in your day with a “+” if the habit is good and helps you move closer to your goals, “-” if it moves you away from your goals, or “=” if the habit is neutral. There is no template for these scores and they are highly personal and dependent upon where you are and where you want to be. When you are finished, your list might look like the column on the right.

Once you know where you are, it’ll be easier to determine the actions you must take to get where you want to be. Are you clear on your goals? Do you know how to dream big and reverse engineer your biggest goals? If not, check out my recording from my last goal-setting webinar. If you need support in goals and habit management, please connect with me. I’m here to support you.

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Posted by Adam Lendi, 2 comments