Live your life without safety nets, set bigger goals, and overcome limiting beliefs
On a recent trip to the Caribbean with my family, I spent a lot of time beaching it, as one would when they have two young kids. The other thing I spent a great deal of time doing was reflecting on the year. What went well? What didn’t go well? What did I learn? How will I show up next year? These were all questions I pondered as I listened to the waves crash and watched the kids play.
One of my favorite sights quickly became watching the local birds of prey fishing. I am not a bird watcher, by trade, and I owed it to you to identify my favorite as the Brown Booby (not that we should hold its name against it). As I watched the booby, sometimes solo, sometimes in pairs, and at greatest in groups of four take to the beach, what quickly became apparent was that they had a strong work ethic.
These majestic sea birds would swoop down low, their bellies barely off of the surface of the water, and hunt for their meal. They would pulse their wings just enough to keep themselves mere inches from the water and respond quickly as the water would rise. They systematically passed back and forth over the water until they spotted the shimmer of a fish below at which point they would abort their thirty or so miles per hour flight in exchange for an abrupt dive into the water to catch a fish.
More often than not, the booby would emerge empty-beaked and would quickly resume flight in search of the next shimmer. I watched these birds perform tirelessly for hours as they hunted for fish. What occurred to me after some time was that I was not merely seeing work ethic. I was seeing survival instinct.
No free meal
These birds knew that their survival hinged on them finding their next meal. Their young relied on them to return to the nest with enough fish to feed them. If these birds gave up, they died. Where in our lives does this show up? Would you agree that your job is mandatory for your survival? Why then is it so easy for us to fall into the trap of not working and avoiding the tasks which lead to our success?
One night on our trip, we stopped at a seaside restaurant for dinner. As we ate, I noticed a congregation of small birds, resembling sparrows. In the spirit of this post, I attempted to identify these birds, however when I searched the internet for “sparrow Caribbean,” I was returned Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. I cannot confirm with any degree of certainty that this particular species had any relation to Captain Sparrow.
These smaller birds were incredibly comfortable with people and it was apparent they’d eaten at this dining establishment before. They came right up to my feet and even hopped on the table next to ours looking for a chunk of bread to be tossed in their direction. These birds patiently awaited and I never did oblige. They clearly knew that they did not need me to survive and that it was only a matter of time before someone else did toss them some food or leave extra fries on their plate.
The stories of these two birds of paradise taught me a great lesson. When survival is at stake, it seems we’ll do anything it takes to keep ourselves and our young alive. The trouble comes when we know there is a safety net in place. If the brown booby knew that if it didn’t catch a fish one day it could just go to a community bucket of fish and grab one to take home, it would quickly learn to take the path of least resistance and start its day at the bucket.
The path of least resistance
Humans and birds alike, we are all susceptible to taking the easy path. Often this comes at the cost of our dreams and our goals. Why do we accept mediocrity when we have the potential to be great? Why can’t we approach life like the brown booby and see our mission through to completion? Is it that we know that when we fall someone will be there to pick us back up?
Especially in developed nations, such as the United States, we don’t have many people dying in the streets of hunger. Does this mean that they all go out and catch their fish every day? Often, no. Remember, like all other creatures, we are always looking for the path of least resistance. When we know we can grab a fish out of the community bucket versus working tirelessly to catch one, we will opt for the easier route.
The community fish bucket isn’t going anywhere. We must set goals so big that the thought of community fish seems like death and the taste repulses us. How do we train our minds to think so big? How do we overcome the limiting beliefs which allow us to continue accepting mediocrity?
Someday starts today!
Start with the end in mind. The greatest, the smartest, the strongest, and the wealthiest don’t have superior genetics to yours. They are not super-human and even if they did have a leg up from their parents, their parents had to create their wealth somehow. We all have the opportunity to be our greatest selves. It begins with your allowing yourself to dream bigger.
The first time I had my limiting beliefs challenged, I was going into business for myself and I was asked how much money I wanted to earn. My response was “$100k.” For me, it was more than I had ever made before and would certainly cover my survival. It also meant that I would be accepting of $90k, the last amount I’d made… $80k, which I had survived on comfortably as well. The point being, I also likely would have been accepting of a community fish. Once I was challenged to expand my thinking, I looked at where I wanted to be, someday, and the legacy I wanted to create. What I learned was that my first goal was selfish and my second was more selfless.
Overcome limiting beliefs
In our society, there is often some amount of shame in wanting to build wealth and the wealthy are often vilified. I remember, in my own youth, uttering the words that I wanted to make “enough to pay the bills and be comfortable.” I was afraid that if I stated I wanted to be a millionaire that I would be shamed. As it turns out, this couldn’t have been further from the truth. My “noble” limiting beliefs were completely selfish and were entirely about me.
If we believe this rhetoric, we will limit our own beliefs, put a governor on ourselves, and even start believing the dangerous narrative that the evil wealthy elites should be filling the community fish bucket for us. Don’t be fooled, this only perpetuates the reliance on the community bucket and is hypocritical.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change
As you challenge yourself to dream bigger, think beyond the dollars alone. What would you accomplish as your greatest self? What impact would you have on the world? Sir Richard Branson, one of the wealthiest people in the world is a shining example of those using his success to make an impact on the world. Branson has amassed great wealth and has also made it a mission of his to save the ocean from human impact.
Oprah Winfrey’s personal mission statement is “to be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.” She has used her wealth to build schools and to create opportunities for underprivileged children.
A new year. A new you?
As we enter a new year, what will change? As much as many of us would like to wish away the old year with the turning of the clocks to midnight, it is up to us and us alone to create our own destiny. Someday starts today. Build a future vision and reverse engineer your goals to the things you must do today. Determine who you must be and the habits you must build to achieve the success you’ve always wanted. Identify the limiting beliefs you must overcome. Most important, never eat community fish again!
Top resources to start your year right!
- Set big goals for yourself with my Intentional Goal Setting series
- Develop the habits which will take you to the next level
- Get intentional about the activities which will grow your business
- Enlist support. Hire a coach!
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