overcome limiting beliefs

Jan

2021

Overcome your limitations and never get held back again!

Whether you realize it or not, you’ve likely set your own governor and throttled your ability to live to the upper-limit of your potential. It’s time to release your governor, overcome your limitations, and explode to be your very best!

I was recently interviewing a candidate for hire in one of my businesses. To get to know him better and and to dig into his “why,” I asked him questions about who he wanted to be and what impact he wanted to make. I really want to know what motivates people and how big they are willing to dream. It’s not uncommon to hear some pretty big visions here and few limitations.

When I asked this same candidate about his financial goals, he asked me what would be “reasonable” to expect. What he didn’t see was the twinge in my neck upon hearing the “R” word. When asked about ethereal and in-concrete goals, it is easy to throw out big things, as we often don’t even believe nor see the possibility in achieving them. It’s when asked for quantifiable performance measures that we all of a sudden throw extreme limits in the mix.

We all want to win

Who can blame us for wanting to set goals we know we can achieve. If the target is well within our current capabilities, we are almost guaranteed to accomplish it. The trouble is that we will not challenge ourselves to grow if we don’t stretch our abilities.

If you earned $50k in your business last year and set this year’s goal to be $50k, you’re likely to accomplish it. You will quickly become an expert at earning $50k. It’s human nature that we don’t want to fail and that we do not want to miss our goals. When we don’t challenge ourselves to grow, we impose limitations and set the governor.

The 40% Rule

Goggins is the epitome of overcoming limitations!

In his book Can’t Hurt Me (buy this book!), retired Navy SEAL and hardest man alive, David Goggins, argues that most humans are only accomplishing 40% of their potential. He characterizes the limitations we impose as the governor on a car. The car is capable of going 130 mph yet it is governed to 92 mph. You can tell the car is capable of doing more, but the governor won’t allow it. Where does this governor come from? Goggins says it best:

“Most of us are extremely motivated to do anything to pursue our dreams until those around us remind us of the danger, the downside, our own limitations, and all the people before us that didn’t make it. Sometimes the advice comes from a well-intentioned place. They really believe they are doing it for our own good but if you let them, these same people will talk you out of your dreams, and your governor will help them do it.”

As you get to know David Goggins, as you read his book, you realize he is a most uncommon person. What he is not is genetically advantaged and he was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Goggins came from an abusive childhood and poverty, overcome tremendous adversity, and developed a mindset which detests mediocrity.

We are all capable of greatness. You are capable of greatness! It starts with the mind. How do you talk to yourself? Do you respect yourself?

How do you overcome your limitations?

When was the last time you set a goal for yourself, didn’t share it with anyone, and didn’t accomplish it? We’ve all had them. I’ll be the first to tell you that I have had years of “I’ll go to the gym tomorrow” and “I will get up earlier.” The trouble starts the next morning when we wake up late and don’t go to the gym. The damage comes when we accept defeat. Our self-respect slips and the limitation bar lowers.

Missing our goals hurts and causes depression. Our minds, eager for a dopamine hit, will go looking for a win. They’ll accomplish this by setting the bar lower and imposing greater limitations. Your goal of becoming a triathlete has now resolved itself to putting the gym off to tomorrow. Where else does this show up in your life?

Get real with yourself!

David Goggins is very raw and each time he’s faced his own limitations, he turns to his “accountability mirror” to overcome them. The accountability mirror is where you own your truths, you don’t sugarcoat anything, and you call out the realities of your situation. Quit making excuses!

If you didn’t lead generate today, take a look at yourself in that mirror. You can list off all of the reasons you didn’t pick up the phone and the person staring back knows the truth. If you’re scared to make a call, call it out. Look yourself in the eye and say “you’re scared.” If you opted to binge on Netflix instead, since your home office is in the same room as the TV, then COVID didn’t cause your business to dry up. You were weak and lazy!

Get uncomfortable!

Overcome your limitations and challenge yourself to grow to the next level.

Each time we get uncomfortable we grow our abilities. I’ve never been a consistent runner and I’ve found each time I re-commit to the sport, it proves challenging. Anytime it’s been a long while since my last run, one mile feels unbearable. My knees hurt, I get side-stitches, and my brain tells me to quit. A funny things happens as I continue running regularly. One mile gets a lot easier and two miles causes pain and side-stitches. Then, the pain comes at three miles and the first two are a breeze. Before you know it, it takes double-digits to activate the pain. Glad I didn’t tell myself one mile was the limit!

Where are you setting your governor? Maybe it’s running. Perhaps it’s lead generating. If you get uncomfortable making calls, you need to make more calls! If you can’t hold yourself accountable, call it out for what it is. You’re not incapable of doing the work. Someone else out there with an ear, a mouth, and opposable thumbs is crushing it on sales calls right now. Enlist support if your limitations are too great to overcome on your own. Be real with those you bring in and be careful who you bring in. If the thought of telling them you didn’t do what you said you’d do doesn’t make you want to run and hide or be invisible, you’ve picked the right person!

Take Action!

Write down your top goal. If you aren’t clear on yours, follow my intentional goal setting series for help on making yours SMART
Identify the things you are good at and the strengths you bring to the challenge ahead.
Identify the challenges ahead, the skills/habits you must develop, and the limitations you must overcome.
Enlist support with a trusted accountability partner or hire a coach. I am interviewing new clients now and promise to hold your feet to the fire.
Check in regularly. Build a habit around evaluating your wins and your goal progress.

Dec

2020

Never ever eat from the community fish bucket again!

Live your life without safety nets, set bigger goals, and overcome limiting beliefs

On a recent trip to the Caribbean with my family, I spent a lot of time beaching it, as one would when they have two young kids. The other thing I spent a great deal of time doing was reflecting on the year. What went well? What didn’t go well? What did I learn? How will I show up next year? These were all questions I pondered as I listened to the waves crash and watched the kids play.

One of my favorite sights quickly became watching the local birds of prey fishing. I am not a bird watcher, by trade, and I owed it to you to identify my favorite as the Brown Booby (not that we should hold its name against it). As I watched the booby, sometimes solo, sometimes in pairs, and at greatest in groups of four take to the beach, what quickly became apparent was that they had a strong work ethic.

The brown booby has no limiting beliefs to overcome. He fishes relentlessly to catch his meal.

These majestic sea birds would swoop down low, their bellies barely off of the surface of the water, and hunt for their meal. They would pulse their wings just enough to keep themselves mere inches from the water and respond quickly as the water would rise. They systematically passed back and forth over the water until they spotted the shimmer of a fish below at which point they would abort their thirty or so miles per hour flight in exchange for an abrupt dive into the water to catch a fish.

More often than not, the booby would emerge empty-beaked and would quickly resume flight in search of the next shimmer. I watched these birds perform tirelessly for hours as they hunted for fish. What occurred to me after some time was that I was not merely seeing work ethic. I was seeing survival instinct.

No free meal

These birds knew that their survival hinged on them finding their next meal. Their young relied on them to return to the nest with enough fish to feed them. If these birds gave up, they died. Where in our lives does this show up? Would you agree that your job is mandatory for your survival? Why then is it so easy for us to fall into the trap of not working and avoiding the tasks which lead to our success?

One night on our trip, we stopped at a seaside restaurant for dinner. As we ate, I noticed a congregation of small birds, resembling sparrows. In the spirit of this post, I attempted to identify these birds, however when I searched the internet for “sparrow Caribbean,” I was returned Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. I cannot confirm with any degree of certainty that this particular species had any relation to Captain Sparrow.

These smaller birds were incredibly comfortable with people and it was apparent they’d eaten at this dining establishment before. They came right up to my feet and even hopped on the table next to ours looking for a chunk of bread to be tossed in their direction. These birds patiently awaited and I never did oblige. They clearly knew that they did not need me to survive and that it was only a matter of time before someone else did toss them some food or leave extra fries on their plate.

The stories of these two birds of paradise taught me a great lesson. When survival is at stake, it seems we’ll do anything it takes to keep ourselves and our young alive. The trouble comes when we know there is a safety net in place. If the brown booby knew that if it didn’t catch a fish one day it could just go to a community bucket of fish and grab one to take home, it would quickly learn to take the path of least resistance and start its day at the bucket.

The path of least resistance

Humans and birds alike, we are all susceptible to taking the easy path. Often this comes at the cost of our dreams and our goals. Why do we accept mediocrity when we have the potential to be great? Why can’t we approach life like the brown booby and see our mission through to completion? Is it that we know that when we fall someone will be there to pick us back up?

Especially in developed nations, such as the United States, we don’t have many people dying in the streets of hunger. Does this mean that they all go out and catch their fish every day? Often, no. Remember, like all other creatures, we are always looking for the path of least resistance. When we know we can grab a fish out of the community bucket versus working tirelessly to catch one, we will opt for the easier route.

The community fish bucket isn’t going anywhere. We must set goals so big that the thought of community fish seems like death and the taste repulses us. How do we train our minds to think so big? How do we overcome the limiting beliefs which allow us to continue accepting mediocrity?

Someday starts today!

Start with the end in mind. The greatest, the smartest, the strongest, and the wealthiest don’t have superior genetics to yours. They are not super-human and even if they did have a leg up from their parents, their parents had to create their wealth somehow. We all have the opportunity to be our greatest selves. It begins with your allowing yourself to dream bigger.

The first time I had my limiting beliefs challenged, I was going into business for myself and I was asked how much money I wanted to earn. My response was “$100k.” For me, it was more than I had ever made before and would certainly cover my survival. It also meant that I would be accepting of $90k, the last amount I’d made… $80k, which I had survived on comfortably as well. The point being, I also likely would have been accepting of a community fish. Once I was challenged to expand my thinking, I looked at where I wanted to be, someday, and the legacy I wanted to create. What I learned was that my first goal was selfish and my second was more selfless.

Overcome limiting beliefs

In our society, there is often some amount of shame in wanting to build wealth and the wealthy are often vilified. I remember, in my own youth, uttering the words that I wanted to make “enough to pay the bills and be comfortable.” I was afraid that if I stated I wanted to be a millionaire that I would be shamed. As it turns out, this couldn’t have been further from the truth. My “noble” limiting beliefs were completely selfish and were entirely about me.

If we believe this rhetoric, we will limit our own beliefs, put a governor on ourselves, and even start believing the dangerous narrative that the evil wealthy elites should be filling the community fish bucket for us. Don’t be fooled, this only perpetuates the reliance on the community bucket and is hypocritical.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change

As you challenge yourself to dream bigger, think beyond the dollars alone. What would you accomplish as your greatest self? What impact would you have on the world? Sir Richard Branson, one of the wealthiest people in the world is a shining example of those using his success to make an impact on the world. Branson has amassed great wealth and has also made it a mission of his to save the ocean from human impact.

Oprah Winfrey’s personal mission statement is “to be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.” She has used her wealth to build schools and to create opportunities for underprivileged children.

A new year. A new you?

As we enter a new year, what will change? As much as many of us would like to wish away the old year with the turning of the clocks to midnight, it is up to us and us alone to create our own destiny. Someday starts today. Build a future vision and reverse engineer your goals to the things you must do today. Determine who you must be and the habits you must build to achieve the success you’ve always wanted. Identify the limiting beliefs you must overcome. Most important, never eat community fish again!

Top resources to start your year right!

Set big goals for yourself with my Intentional Goal Setting series
Develop the habits which will take you to the next level
Get intentional about the activities which will grow your business
Enlist support. Hire a coach!