Planning

3 Secrets to Stress Less this Holiday Season

3 Secrets to Stress Less this Holiday Season

‘Tis the season… How you finish this will say a lot about how you show up for your family and loved ones for this year’s holidays. If you’ve crushed your goals this year and are finished planning your business for next year, odds are good you will rest easy this holiday season. For the rest, the holidays may bring a dose of stress and angst. It’s not too late! If you are in the latter group, you can still make yours merry and stress less! Follow these simple tips.

1. Look forward

What happens when we haven’t seen the results we hoped for or when we miss the mark on a goal or an expectation? Our minds naturally slip on their Sherlock Holmes caps and begin investigating. It seems so logical to investigate the cause of the failure so that you can avoid repeating the error. The trouble is, we have a hard time leaving it alone once we’ve discovered the cause. Our minds are bullies, constantly reminding us of times we weren’t successful and have trouble leaving this loop.

If you enter the holiday season stressed about the things you have no control over, these negatives will undoubtedly spill over to your loved ones, which will perpetuate your stress. Take this tip from therapist Emily Garcia on disqualifying the negative:

Ignoring a negative comment is easier said than done. Instead of repeating the negative comment in your head, try repeating all of the comments in order to give yourself perspective. Focus on what you did well and allow yourself to feel proud then consider how you can improve on what is already good.

If you can focus on your successes and those things which went well, you will find yourself not only in a better place to enjoy the holidays, but also to begin planning for next year.

focus on the plan, not the problem. Stress less this holiday season

2. Have a plan

If you haven’t yet made a business plan for next year, it isn’t too late. While I highly recommend a full day off-site business planning and goal setting retreat, simply starting a plan now may be enough to let your mind relax and stop racing.

If the holidays sneaked up on you and caught you with your pants down, so to speak, you can make your very own One Page Business Plan in just an hour or two! Get it out of your head and organized on paper. Then schedule a call with me for right after the New Year to put this into action.

3. Stop working!

I really do embrace technology and appreciate how it has changed the face of business. We continue to improve it and make it more efficient. Just this year we all learned another meaning for the word Zoom. Now, especially with the increased number of remote workers, we find more Americans are over-working themselves and working longer hours.

Set expectations with your clients and with your team. Teach people how to treat you. What would happen if that client who called you on Christmas day while your kids were opening presents had to wait until the next business day? In most lines of business, at worst the problem will remain the same. At best, it may have worked itself out. What would you really gain from jumping on that other person’s priority? One thing is certain… you would affirm for them that you have no boundaries and are available to their beck and call.

stress less this holiday season with a digital detox

Get rid of your digital crack! When you are with your loved ones and with your family, be there for them. That buzz in your pocket and that text message ding release dopamine which is addicting. Once you know there is a message or an email, you’ll have a hard time focusing on what’s important and you are more inclined to place your work before irreplaceable memories. Turn your notifications off, leave your smart phone and laptop in your office, and be there for your loved ones. As Gary Keller says in The ONE Thing:

Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls– family, health, friends, integrity– are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.

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‘Tis the season of giving! If you know someone in business who could benefit from a less stressful holiday season, please share this post with them. If you know someone who is on the verge of their next breakthrough or who could use a rebound, give the gift of coaching!

This month, I am offering a 50% discount on your first month of Mastery Coaching. This special expires when the ball drops on the New Year. Sign up today or give the gift of coaching to someone you care about.

Give the gift of coaching, for a happy and stress less holiday!
Posted by Adam Lendi in Coaching, Goal Setting, Life, Tools, 0 comments
What you focus on expands! Intentional Goal Setting Series (3/3)

What you focus on expands! Intentional Goal Setting Series (3/3)

Are you setting goals which make their achievement inevitable?

If you’ve been following thus far, you’ve set ludicrous goals for yourself, you’ve made your goals SMART, and broken them down to a one year playlist for a monumental year! Take a minute to celebrate your accomplishments thus far! Those who simply write out their goals are 39.5% more likely to achieve them. Those who add accountability increase that likelihood by 76.7%. Are you focusing on the right things when you set your goals?

Where do we begin? At this point, you have seven really big goals in front of you. I strongly encourage you not to attempt undertaking all seven at the same time. How do you gain even more perspective on what the time commitments of these goals will be and ensure that you are in the high-achieving group of goal-getters?

Just Two

Your next year is a marathon. You have twelve months in which to become the person you need to be to achieve your goals and realize success and transformation, unlike any you have achieved before. As you review your goals, look for those which will have domino effects in your life. If you see one which will make another goal easier or unnecessary, move it up the list. Find the goal which above all others will have the largest ripple and move it to the top. This is your one thing!

Next, pick a second goal which will have another effect in another area of your life. If you picked a job or business goal for your first, pick an area of your personal life to complement your first. Finance is the wild card on the board and is the conduit between your business life and your personal life. If you picked finances first, pick your next priority in either area.

Go Small

Focus the goals you've set and go small.

Remember the clarifying question from installment two, which took your someday goal all the way to your one year goal? We are going to continue zooming in with our microscope to go smaller. Using your one Thing, ask yourself…

“What must I accomplish in this month to achieve my one year goal?”

When you write your answer, use the name of the month for which you are writing your goal. If your one year goal was to sign 48 contracts, your one month might read: “In December 2020, I must sign four contracts.” We’re not done yet! Go smaller still…

“What must I accomplish in this week to achieve my one month goal?”

Write your weekly goal as you did your monthly goal: “This week, I must sign one contract.” As you get into relationship with your goals and develop a daily habit of reviewing them, you will keep your goals with your planner and ask yourself each day:

“What must I accomplish today to achieve my one week goal?”

You must earn the right to add more goals!

Once you have mastered the process of accomplishing your first goals you can consider adding more goals to the mix. Don’t rush into it too quickly. Even if you only accomplished these two goals this year, you’d be a massive success when compared to the majority of your peers.

Once you’ve developed success habits which make your goal accomplishment inevitable, you’ll know. You will be making steady progress toward your goals and still wanting more. If you are feeling overwhelmed or maxed out, it is not the right time. You will know when you’ve earned the right to add one more goal to the mix.

You’re bound to let yourself off easy

Coaches and accountability partners will help you accomplish the goals you've set!

Self-accountability is a myth. How many times have you felt in control of your impulses when you passed over the tempting dessert options a restaurant, only to go home and indulge on junk food to reward yourself for being good? Willpower is not on will call!

Whether you hire a coach or find an accountability partner, an objective outsider can easily tell if you did or did not do what you said was important to you. Set yourself up for maximum success and join the group achieving their goals 76.7% more often than those who do not.

Take Action!

1. Pick your top personal and business goals (2 max, 1 per area)
2. Continue goal-setting to the now.

One year > One Month > One Week > Today

3. Use the 411 to track your goal achievement. Download yours HERE
4. Enlist support! Hire a coach or get an accountability partner.
5. Share this with a friend who could use help achieving their goals.

Prior post:

<– Your future in focus! Intentional Goal Setting Series (2/3)

Posted by Adam Lendi in Business Planning, Goal Setting, Habits, Life, Tools, 1 comment
Your future in focus! Intentional Goal Setting Series (2/3)

Your future in focus! Intentional Goal Setting Series (2/3)

Welcome back! If you missed us last week, we were being “unrealistic” about our goals. If you missed that one, go check it out now and get an idea of how your future self will live and how your higher self will be. Once you’ve set your moonshot goals, how will you get there? Today I’ll share with you a simple two part process to bring your biggest dreams into focus and to make their achievement inevitable.

Step 1 – Make your goals SMART!

The simple test to determine how likely you are to achieve your goals is to ask “how will I know when I’ve achieved it?” If the finish line can’t be seen or isn’t clear, how will we know what must be done to cross it? Make sure your goals can check each one of these requirements:

Specific – What specifically are you looking to accomplish. Simply saying you want to, say, “get stronger” violates a few of these rules; the first being it does not state specifically the strength you are looking to achieve. Is it physical? mental? just your legs?

Measurable – At what time can you check the box signifying your accomplishment of your goal? Being “financially independent” is a common goal I hear and it fails the test. With an extremely modest lifestyle and a country with a low cost of living, someone could technically be financially independent on $100,000, if invested properly. Conversely, if you plan to be financially independent, living a lavish life in Southern California, that number will likely have extra zeros.

Attainable – I know, I know! I told you to be unrealistic. I should have known you’d put time travel as your financial goal, so you could go back and bet on sporting events, like in Back to the Future 2. Your goal needs to be within the realm of human capability, which still gives you a lot of latitude, because we are amazing machines!

Relevant – It must support the life you want to live. Fortunately, since we are starting with our highest level of goals, your goals are all relevant to the life you want to live, unless you picked a goal to support someone else’s priorities. Relevancy will come into play in the next step as we go small with our goals. If your goal in your finances is to pay off your debt and your smaller goal includes investing, while this is a great thing to do, it is not directly relevant to your debt elimination goal.

Time Bound – Every time we set a goal, from here on out, we must have clarity on when we will achieve them. If we incorporate the other four elements, we could end up with a goal like: “to save $1 Million in my 401k for retirement.” It is specific, measurable, attainable, and relevant, however it doesn’t state if this is a goals I want to achieve in the next ten years or the next fifty!

Step 2 – Goal setting to the Now!

Remember those big scary Someday Goals you set? Remember how insurmountable and out of reach they may have felt? Now we’ve made them SMART, so they are a little clearer and more in focus, yet they are still big!

Goal setting to the now is where we systematically reverse engineer your goal to build a staircase to lead you to the moon where your goal’s achievement lies! The process is simple and empowering! Using it will help you realize that you can accomplish your biggest goals and dreams.

You start with your Someday goal and set a 5 year milestone using the clarifying question:

“What must I accomplish in the next 5 years to achieve my someday goal?”

If your highest level goal is less than 5 years away, it may be that you did not dream as large as you could have. Nevertheless, we’ll find your next goal container, ahead. Stop at this 5 year mark and write your SMART goal in the first-person present tense and anchor them in relevance. For example:

“It is 12/31/2025 and I have generated $500k of passive income for the 2026 calendar year so I can spend five days each week with my family and on my hobbies and only work on things which excite me.”

Ensure the milestone will support the future goal, which it will, so long as it really is SMART! Then we’ll repeat the process for the next year by asking:

“What must I accomplish in the next 1 year to achieve my 5 year goal?”

Now you will have your 1 year milestone to measure your progress toward your five year goal. It will look something like this:

“It is 12/31/2021 and I have generated $100k of passive income for the 2022 calendar year so I can spend my weekends and every evening with my family and on my hobbies.”

Take Action!

1. Goal set to the now. Take all of your Someday Goals down to 5 and 1 Year Goals.
2. Rewrite your goals so that they are SMART and write them in the first person present format.
3. Anchor your goals with relevance and highlight what accomplishing your goals will do for you.

Congratulations! You now have a one year action plan which will lead you ever closer to living the life of your dreams. If you enjoyed this process, check back next week as we build out a schedule for success for you to live your entire upcoming year by. Win your day, win your life!

Prior post:

<— (1/3) You need to be “unrealistic”

Next post:

(3/3) What you focus on expands! —>

Posted by Adam Lendi in Coaching, Goal Setting, Habits, Leadership, Life, Tools, 2 comments
What to do when your cheese gets moved

What to do when your cheese gets moved

In his 1988 novel “Who Moved My Cheese?” Dr. Spencer Johnson tells a tale of two mice and two “little people,” living within a maze, on a journey to find their cheese. The cheese is a metaphor for what each character is seeking. For the two mice, it really is cheese. For the people, it is the success, money, love, validation, or whatever it is which they seek.

In the story, each morning the mice rise and lace up their running shoes, while the little people don their jogging suits to enter the labyrinth, in search of their cheese. The mice are named Sniff and Scurry. Sniff has a keen sense of smell and has the ability to detect the best possible route to his cheese. Scurry on the other has quick reflexes and will change direction quickly once he realizes that he has entered a dead-end corridor or that his cheese is not present. The mice have simple brains and are purely reactionary and reflexive. Meanwhile, the little people, named Hem and Haw have complex brains and the ability to analyze situations.

I could easily rewrite the entire story, however it is already a short enough read (seriously, you can read it in less than an hour). As the story goes, one day Sniff, Scurry, Hem, and Haw come upon a cheese station which is full of cheese. Hem and Haw immediately move their homes closer to the cheese station, exchange their jogging suits for more comfortable attire, and live as though the cheese will never run out, until one day it does.

When this happens, it causes great distress for Hem and Haw, as they were not prepared for the change, had not noticed the signs of the diminishing cheese, and had no contingency plan. Sniff and Scurry meanwhile did not adapt their behavior. Each day they would run to the cheese station and when they arrived they would remove their running shoes, tie the laces together, and hang them around their necks, so that they would be ready to run again as soon as needed. Sniff and Scurry were aware of the diminishing cheese supply and were prepared to seek more. As soon as the cheese supply ran out, they did what they were implicitly prepared to do… go find more cheese.

Hem and Haw meanwhile, with their complex human brains lamented over the long lost cheese, assumed someone had simply moved it, and were overall in denial about the fact that they had not been judicious about the situation surrounding their cheese. After some time, Haw began to break the cycle and realized he needed to move on and find another cheese station, just as he had this last one. Hem was unwilling to break the cycle and preferred the comfort of his familiar, even though now cheese-less station.Haw finally develops the courage to break free from the cycle and leave the cheese station. Haw scrawls into a wall of the maze “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” He thought on this and embarked on a challenging, often uncomfortable, and new path to places in the maze he had not yet explored, ultimately leading him to new cheeses he had never experienced before.

I love this story, because it can apply to any situation in life or business where you are upended from your routine and forced to deal with adversity, a new playing field, and new rules. In these times, this story couldn’t be more relevant as we find ourselves faced with a changing landscape and new challenges on all fronts. How have you shown up?

  • Have you been Hem? Frozen, unwilling to let go of the past, and romanticizing about the way things were.
  • Are you a Haw? Acknowledging that things have changed, realizing that they may not return to the way they were, and adapting to the landscape.
  • Were you a Sniff? Did you sense the change as it began happening and react in anticipation?
  • Were you more like Scurry? Did you see the change as it happened and pivot immediately, realizing you could no longer keep heading where you had been?

As great as it sounds to be a Sniff or a Scurry, this is not a natural human tendency for us humans with our complex brains. The vast majority of people respond as Hem did and the lucky few who are able to break their cycles of denial respond as Haw did.

We can prepare ourselves to deal with change to be more of a Sniff or a Scurry. Whether in business or in life, we can continually re-assess our situation. If we set measurable goals, track our progress, and routinely analyze our environment, we can Sniff out the trouble before it emerges and begin our pivot toward a new strategy. What tools and systems do you have in place to routinely analyze your progress toward your goal achievement?

If we have taken the time to plan our goals and have created contingency plans, we can immediately, at the first sign of danger, adopt that plan and take corrective action, just as Scurry would. I wrote a great post about why our top military special forces units create more than one contingency plan and what you can do to prepare yourself for change WHEN (not IF) it happens. (Check it out: Pressing Reset)

Has your cheese moved? Is your supply running low? Are you suddenly out of cheese? Have you not yet found your first cheese? A great starting place will be to return to your goals and your “big why.” Why do you do what it is you do? What are you seeking in life? What would need to happen for you to achieve those goals? I want to share my goal setting webinar from July 2020 where I shared the system of “goal-setting to the now” and the GPS, as my gift to you. May you be as aware as Sniff, as nimble as Scurry, and as wise as Haw. If you find yourself a Hem or know someone who is, I can help.

Remember to tie the laces of your running shoes together and hang them around your neck. You never know how soon you may need them again.

Posted by Adam Lendi in Business Planning, Coaching, Goal Setting, Tools, 0 comments