referrals

Remember the last time you were referred business from a friend or a past client just how good it felt? When was the last time that happened? When was the time before that? The best part about working with referrals is that they are sold on you by the referrer before they even met you. The person who sent them was a mixture of a full color glossy brochure of your services and your own personal hype man. If you aren’t getting the referrals you want or if you aren’t seeing them at the frequency you like, it’s likely one of these three reasons.

1. You don’t talk to them

Robin Dunbar, a British anthropologist, discovered through his studies of primates and humans that us human beings are generally only capable of maintaining 150 stable relationships with those in our lives. This is commonly referred to as Dunbar’s Number. Sure we know far more people, yet we cannot stay in communication, effectively, with more people. When we attempt to contact everyone, we don’t reach anyone as effectively as we could.

If you think sending an email blast to all of your past clients and prospects constitutes relationship maintenance, I challenge you to rate your relationship with Jeff Bezos based upon the last email you received from Amazon. How often do you contact your past clients? your friends and family? people who have sent you referrals in the past??

In the book, The One Thing, Gary Keller and Jay Papasan, the first of the lies which mislead us is that all things matter equally. Likewise, not all contacts matter equally. What and who you focus on expands! Rate your database and determine who belongs in your 150.

2. You haven’t given them the tools they need to refer you

Sure, my friends and family know I am a Business Coach. How does that knowledge alone tell them what they need to know to refer me? Our simple human brains are far better at recognizing patterns (and can do so unconsciously) than they are at analytical thinking.

One thing networking groups like BNI (Business Networking International) do well is that they have a ritual each week where their members stand and give a short commercial about their services and what a referral for them looks like. A great example would be if a roofer stands up and says something to the effect of:

“I’m Mike with Mike’s Roofing. After last weeks hailstorm in North Denver I have already had a ton of requests for roof evaluations and have found several which were in need of replacement. If you know anyone who lives in North Denver who was hit by that hailstorm, send them my way for a free roof inspection.”

With this cue in mind, when you leave your BNI meeting and talk with your friends and clients who live in North Denver, you have a better chance of being triggered to ask them about the hailstorm or you’ll at the very least remember Mike when someone mentions the hail damage their car took. How are you arming your ambassadors who are ready to refer you?

3. You haven’t rewarded referrals you’ve received

For us super-connectors, nothing gives us more joy than connecting someone we know who has a need with someone we also know who can satisfy that need and do a great job. For us, creating win-win connections and helping those we care about excites us!

In the book The Five Languages of Love, Gary Chapman describes that we most commonly like to receive and we find the most fulfillment from:

• Words of Affirmation
• Acts of Service
• Receiving Gifts
• Quality Time
• Physical Touch

I do not recommend touching your referral sources, however, I do recommend touching on at least one of the other categories. The more of them you touch on, the better chance you have of triggering that one which your referral source most aligns with.

Have you ever received a gift from someone whom you sent a referral to? I have received enough Starbucks gift cards to buy all of you reading coffee… Seriously! I appreciate the gesture and the acknowledgement is enough to keep me sending referrals. The simplest we could all employ is words of affirmation. At a bare minimum, pick up the phone and call them… Don’t text! Tell them you are grateful for their trust in you. Then keep them posted and let them know when you score a win for their friend.

Get purposeful!

If you are ready to grow your business by referrals and to hit the easy button, join me on my free webinar next Tuesday on Building a Referral Based Business. Bring a notepad, some stationary, and a phone! We are going to get into action and grow our businesses together to finish 2020 strong and line up referrals for next year!